By Shelley Tait, MS,
Marriage and Family Therapist
 And Facilitator of Wild Women Workshops

Imagine a woman who feels totally safe and free of inhibitions, can love herself unconditionally, and passion fills her every moment. Now picture this woman as a reflection of your own Wild Woman, a self that has been with you from the very beginning of your life. As a very young child you were in perfect harmony with this expression of your wild nature. If this time of your life is difficult to recall, just spend a few minutes watching a young child at play. It is as if their little bodies leap around spontaneously into action. Your Wild Woman has her origins in this childlike energy; this raw, innocent, and vital power as it is expressed naturally before being filtered through the civilizing codes of society.

When I introduce people to the idea of the Wild Woman, I inevitably address the misperceptions behind this concept. Contrary to what many believe, our Wild Woman does not represent a loss of control, rather a letting go of the control that inhibits our intuitive and instinctual nature that can express itself without guilt or fear. Accessing her allows us to recover a sense of identity and power in our lives that is only possible when we acknowledge and become who we really are, not just who the world wants us to be. When we envision the shedding of imposed self-defeating beliefs, define our own truth in the world, honor our individuality, and uncover our unique feminine creativity, then we are free to express ourselves naturally and instinctively.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD, best describes the concept of the Wild Woman in her book, Women Who Run With The Wolves, when she states that "within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species". Dr. Estes equates the Wild Woman to wildlife and wild lands that have been mismanaged and forced into unnatural rhythms to please others. It is as though almost every culture, including our own, has perceived the Wild Woman as dangerous and threatening at the expense of suppressing this natural energy within us. Through self-exploration and acknowledgment of the ways and means of our deepest nature, we can begin to affirm our instincts and natural life cycles, and to move away from culturally confining stereotypes.

Dr. Estes also describes Wild Woman as "the female soul, the source of the feminine, all that is of instinct, of the worlds both seen and hidden, and the basis for all the instincts and knowing needed for our lives. She is intuition, far-seer, deep listener, loyal heart, ideas, feelings, urges and memory. She is the voice that says, 'This way, this way’". Dr. Estes emphasizes that we can develop in ways never thought possible when we are able to understand this wildish nature as a being in its own right, "one which animates and informs a woman’s deepest life". We are able to reach higher levels of consciousness when we return to our instinctive lives, our deepest knowing, and in order to find the Wild Woman who resides in each one of us, we must delve into the depths of our souls and allow our spirit to take flight.

Accessing our Wild Woman is a process of surrender, not control, and requires more enthusiasm than discipline. The world ‘enthusiasm’ is Greek, meaning- "filled with God". It is an ongoing energy supply tapped into the flow of life that is grounded in play and joy, not work and duty. We encounter our Wild Woman when we allow ourselves to retain a sense of adventure in our lives. Therefore, finding our child within and embracing the wonderment of our existence is crucial to experiencing our Wild Woman. To truly know this child, we must have compassion and tolerance for ourselves as adults.

One of the most important tasks in becoming more tolerant is learning how to accurately identify the feelings, thoughts and actions that stem from our childhood. While the joyful memories can more easily be acknowledged and transformed into adventuresome activities, the negative experiences are often used as blocks that keep us from living our lives to the fullest extent. We typically expend a great deal of energy on blocks expressed as self-hatred, regret, grief and self-doubt. Our Wild Woman dismantles these emotional blocks and supports renewed risks by letting go of the fear of failure, success or abandonment, all of which have their roots in childhood realities.

When we are conscious of ourselves, creative life energy flows more freely. When we resist what this energy has to offer, we no longer feel we are in charge of our lives. Therefore, when our creative energy is blocked we engage in obsessive behaviors in order to resurrect a false sense of control in our lives. These "controls" we impose on ourselves can best be understood as self-protection and become unconscious habits. By paying attention to how we think and how we react to the world around us we can better understand our unconscious behavior. Once we discern a habitual pattern that is confining us, we make a conscious effort to do the opposite; to respond instead of withdraw. One way to break the hold of bad habits is to go on a fast, a fast of habitual emotional responses.

Our mind and body run by habit. In order to change our habits, we must first know what they are. Meditation and relaxation can be used as tools to facilitate the process of taking intangible feelings outside of our selves and forming new realities. When practiced faithfully, meditations can go very deeply into our psyche and emotional nature. Such depth can help in letting go of old baggage that no longer serves us. With further practice, we will begin to experience an aspect of creativity and freedom that has always been there, but have failed to recognize. Once we retrieve this disowned aspect of our spirits, we will begin to resonate with the rhythms of nature and to celebrate who we really are.

Each of us has a unique Wild Woman within our heart and soul. Her needs vary, yet she will always carry spontaneous, uninhibited, and intuitive feelings. As we direct our attention within, we uncover many desires that stem from that natural part of our soul. Exploring our passions requires that we feel safe, while at the same time are able to let go of control mechanisms that keep impassioned energies in check. This process is facilitated in Wild Women Workshops by creating a safe and nurturing space with other women of like-minds. Individual passions and desires are explored through meditation and relaxation, rituals, personally meaningful activities, and becoming more in-tune with our physical bodies. Since our Wild Woman is naturally playful and sensual, she helps us with this process.

Other tools that can be useful in our search and realization of our Wild Woman are creative and artistic expression of our selves. Some examples are; painting, sculpturing, journals, reading and writing poetry, dance, yoga, cooking, gardening, contemplation, mothering, communing with nature and social action. More important than the creative act is bringing a conscious ongoing awareness into our chosen activity, and acknowledging that it forms a part of our spiritual path. Creativity is a spiritual experience in and of itself.

Wild Women Workshops focus on the importance of recovering a sense of power, building inner strength, and enhancing spiritual development by exercising our personal power. We look at core negative beliefs, such as the power behind anger fear and shame, and how these beliefs interfere with our quest for our Wild Woman. We also explore our healthy conscience, that part of us which is non-judgmental and wise, oversees our actions, and insures that we are out of danger and not self-destructive. Our healthy conscious supports our desires, nurtures us and puts a voice to our gut feelings. It knows the difference between dangerous behavior and what is truly wild. We can develop our healthy conscious by saying encouraging and helpful things to one another and ourselves. There is no limit to how we can retrain our mind to let go of negative self talk and give ourselves messages that are supportive and accepting. As we build our healthy conscience it will feel safe for our Wild Woman to emerge, and if treated with respect, she will show herself to us.

For more information about Wild Women Workshops
 please contact Shelley Tait at 520-975-6425,  or e-mail at strait@uswest.net